Cats Meow
by Bippy Imp
Summary: Harry Potter is abused. His only ally is his cousin. They both decide to learn karate. Later on thier sensei switched with our favorite old hag from Japan. SLASH Creature!Harry Smart!Harry Dark!Harry Dumbles/Ron/Ginny bashing FEM!Kuwabara
1. Glass

**A/N: I know its not very good and kinda short but hell this is my first story. So please forgive me. This will be slash btw.**

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><p>Harry pushed his magic into the lock on his cupboard door. He had been thrown in earlier today for bleeding all over the nice clean floor. The reason why he was bleeding lay on his Uncle Vernon's very wide shoulders. Apparently, it was a very bad idea to stare at his uncle's sides as they wiggled when he sat down. This was news to Harry.<p>

He paused before he opened the door to make sure they were all asleep. He heard nothing so he cautiously opened the door. It may have been foolish but he needed the food. He hadn't eaten all week and he had almost passed out doing his chores today. He crawled out and tip-toed to the kitchen only to stumble into a chair. The loud screech froze his movement. He listened for the sound of his uncle getting up for a full minute before moving again.

He grabbed a can of old chili and turned to go back to his cupboard when the lights flashed on. His uncle stood there, his face an ugly puce color, his hand clenched around a belt.

"BOY! Stealing food again? You ungrateful little whelp! I'll teach you." He yelled. Harry backed away, still holding the can, his face terrified.

"I'm s-sorry, sir. I was just hungry. Please, I-I didn't mean it!" Harry managed to stutter out. His uncle came toward him wrapping the studded belt around his fist. Harry hoped, it would only be a beating this time.

His uncle swung and swung and wouldn't stop. But every time Harry got up when he got knocked down, he was strong like that. He didn't fight back though he could've. His uncle was tiring out now and not a moment too soon. Harry almost blacked out. His uncles last punch sent him through the glass door and the last thing Harry felt was the glass digging into his back.

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><p>He groaned as he woke, his back screaming in pain. He lay there for a second cataloging his injuries. His back was cut up and he could still feel the glass. He startled as dust fluttered down into his face. He heard quick, quiet footsteps and then a knock at his door.<p>

"Harry! Are you okay?" His cousin whispered. Since Hagrid had given him a pigs tail, Dudley had done a complete turnaround. It was like his eyes were opened for the first time and he saw. He was angered at what he saw.

His cousin had lost a lot of weight, but he would never be considered skinny. He was muscular though. He and Dudley had taken martial arts classes. Harry may look scrawny but he was deadly. Dudley was as well.

His back groaning pain Harry sat up and leant against the door. He wanted to ask his cousins advice on whether or not to go back to Hogwarts. Its not like he had any friends their anymore. Ron and Hermione had slowly, but surely quit talking to him after he had talked in Parseltongue during the Dueling Club Fiasco. It had all came to a head when Ron had accused him of taking Ginny into the Chamber and petrifying Hermione. He had saved Ginny, but Ron still bothered him. Hermione and Ron didn't hang together anymore. Harry had ben the glue keeping them together and when he left they drifted apart. Things had gotten better when he had befriended the twins in his Fourth year when the school turned on him again. Cedric had died and Voldemort had come back.

His Fifth year had been his worst year yet. He had had to stay part of the summer with the twins and their family. That would have been fine, if Ron had left him alone. Ron had followed him around calling him names and starting fights. Umbridge made him do line with a blood quill and Sirius had died. He had been torn up about it, but he and Remus had gotten drunk and talked everything out. He still felt guilty, but he didn't think Sirius would want him to feel like that. The twins had dropped out that year. He had no reason to go back. Dudley thought he should.

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><p><strong>AN: Review Please!**


	2. Quiche

A/N: YOU LIKE IT! I'm so happy. I scared my dog whenever I started screaming with joy… sorry Poochie. I'm so excited! This might also have to do with all the coffee I drank this morning. I'm shaking so badly right now its hard to type.

CHAPTER 2

_I will not kill him. I will not kill him. I will not kill him. I will got to Azkaban if I do, although it may be worth it. _Harry thought as he ignored his uncles rant in favor of his own mental ramblings. He didn't know what he had done this time, but he knew his aunt had something to do with it. He came back into focus when his cousin walked into the room. Now he loved his cousin, but Dudley would have definitely have been a Gryffindor. He didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"Harry didn't eat all of Mums quiche. I did. So why don't you punish me?" Dudley cried indignant on Harry's behalf. There in fact been no quiche, but Vernon had needed a reason to yell, maybe even smack the boy around. Now imagine his confusion when his own son had admitted to something he made up. The only logical conclusion was that the boy had used his freakiness to get out of trouble. Yeah that's it. He stared at Dudley for a second looking for signs of freakishness, like there was an obvious sign. He turned to Harry and backed him into a wall.

"Undo it!" He whispered threateningly. The boy just stared at him uncomprehendingly. Vernon grabbed the boy by the neck and lifted him off his feet. The boy started to claw at his hands, but Vernon wouldn't let go. "Undo your freakishness boy or you will die tonight." He yelled in Harry's face.

Dudley ran at his father trying to get him to let go. Vernon back-handed him into the wall, letting go of Harry in the process. Dudley's hand was on his cheek, eyes watering, staring at his father in shock. His father had never hit him before. Vernon stood there for a second and then his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Your not under his influence are you? I will not have you taking the freaks side in this, Dudders. If your on his side, your not on mine." He turned to Harry and said in a normal voice "Get out boy. I won't have your freakishness in this house any longer."

Harry sat there unbelieving. His uncle couldn't kick him out, they were family. "GET OUT" His uncle yelled throwing him out by the scruff of his neck. The door slammed behind him. He heard yelling and Dudley was tossed out as well.

"Come back, Dudders, when you get your head screwed on straight!" They heard and the door slammed shut. They settled down to wait till Vernon and Petunia went to sleep. They needed to get inside and get some essentials. Until then they planned. They decided to head to their sensei's dojo. He might give them shelter for the night.

HPHPYYHYYH

A/N: They meet the gang next chapter. Should D go to Hogwarts with him or not?


	3. Scuffle

**A/N:**** I'm sorry, don't hurt me... It has been nine months since I've even been able to write anything for this story. I've been in and out of the Hospital for mental illnesses, so I suppose thats kind of an excuse. Plus, I've had writers block. Also I went back and added some things to chapter one. **

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><p>Harry and Dudley crept up to the door, trying to be as quiet as they could. It wasn't working very well...<p>

CRASH!

"Merlin, Dudley! Would you be careful?!" Harry hissed, helping Dudley up from the bin he had tripped over. "You'll wake Uncle Vernon!"

"Sorry, Harry. You know I can't see very well at night!" Dudley whispered apologetically, as he bent down in front the door, pulling a small cloth case out.

"Yeah, yeah, just pick the lock, you burglar!"

"Oi! I resemble that remark!" Dudley breathed,as the lock clicked open."Hurry, lets grab some money. We can get the rest in the morning."

Harry hustled to the kitchen and opened the drawer that held the rainy day fund. He quickly counted it out and came up with a little over 100 pounds. He met Dudley in the front hall. "How much have you got?" Harry mumbled.

"About 200 pounds..."

Harry raised an eyebrow, inquiring silently how he had gotten that much money and why he needed it.

"I've been sellin' some stuff I've gotten from a few houses, so we could eventually run. Don't think I haven't noticed what he does to you when mum's asleep!"

Harry looked down in shame. He had thought he had hidden it pretty well. "Come on, we can talk about it later, lets leave..."

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><p>They were walking in silence, it had been silent since Harry had finished booby trapping the house. They just didn't know what to say to each other. Harry sneaked a glance at Dudley. He looked very frustrated. Harry honestly had no idea on how to deal with this situation. He hadn't known that Dudley knew and he was kind of afraid of what Dudley thought of him.<p>

"Its not your fault, you know?" Dudley whispered. Harry glanced at him quickly, then decided that the ground looked very interesting. Dudley soldiered on. "He's a sick bastard that should've been drowned at birth. He had started looking at me like that, when you were away at school last year. It scared me. I hadn't noticed what he did to you until this summer though. For what its worth, I'm sorry..."

"Its not your fault." Harry said. Dudley grit his teeth and shook his head. "No, listen to me." Harry demanded, grabbing Dudleys arm and pulling them to a stop in the middle of the road. Dudley desperately staring down at Harry "You couldn't have stopped it. You're a kid, just like me. You shouldn't have needed to stop it." Harry emphasized. "He was a monster in a humans skin. Theres nothing you could have done..." Harry pulled Dudley into a hug and felt tears soaking the top of his head, but didn't mention it.

"I should be the one comforting you." Dudley sighed, pulling away after a few moments. Dudley looked at Harry for a few moments and then pulled him into another hug before releasing him. "Come on, lets get to the Dojo, shorty."

"Alri- Hey, I'm not short!" Harry raged, running to catch up with Dudley. Dudley roared with laughter, dodging the punch Harry aimed at his shoulder. Harry smiled, glad that things were okay between them.

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><p>The Dojo was dark when they arrived. It looked creepy and uninhabited. "Hey, Dudley? When was the last time you saw Sensei?" Harry asked, staring at the dusty windows.<p>

"A little over a month ago… he didn't say anything about leaving then…"

"Why so long ago?"

"Didn't want to leave you alone with Dad."

Harry smiled, glad that God had at least saw it fit to give him someone _good_ as a family member. He was glad he had someone looking out for him. "Thanks, Dudley."

"Don't worry about it." Dudley replied.

Harry stood there smiling like an idiot, when he realized why the Dojo looked abandoned. "Ohhhh…" Harry murmured. "Well, I feel like an idiot, now."

"What?" Dudley questioned, whipping his head around.

"Last year, Sensei was talking about moving back to Japan and someone coming to take his spot…" Harry said eyes wide. "I don't think they're here yet."

"No? Really?" Dudley hissed sarcastically. "What gave you that idea? The dusty windows, the un-swept walkway, or maybe the fact it looks abandoned?!" Dudley finished in a yell.

"Don't yell at me! Its not my fault!" Harry hissed back, face twisted in a snarl, emerald eyes flashing.

"Well, where in the bloody hell are we supposed to go?! We haven't got a home to go back to, not without Dad blowing a hole through our heads!"

"Shut up, Duds! You're going to wake someone up!" Harry roared, not noticing that he too had started to yell. It just escalated from there.

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><p>Genkai blinked her eyes open. She lay there for a minute, wondering what had woken her up. She startled, hearing people yelling outside. "<em><span>It's the middle of the night. They better have a good reason for waking me up or they'll wish they had never laid eyes on me<span>_." Genkai grumbled.

Genkai walked to the front door as the yelling turned to scuffling, curses, and yelps. She stood at the window watching two boys descend into fighting/wrestling, both looking extremely frustrated. That was the only thing they had in common.

They looked like a modern day comparison to the prince and the pauper. One of the boys currently losing in the fight, was blonde and muscular, with grey eyes. He was taller than the one dressed as a pauper, looking at around a rough 6 foot. He was grinning as he reversed the positions in a clear martial arts move.

The long black haired boys emerald eyes widened as he flew over the blonde boys head landing on his stomach and wincing in pain. He was small in all senses of the word. He was about 5'5 and looked skinny. Genkai could see his ribs as his shirt rode up.

Genkai was about to step in. This fight didn't look like a friendly sparring match. She stepped back though, as the black haired boy stood up with a grin. The other boy grabbed him in a headlock and started rubbing his fist on the top of his head, grinning. Genkai headed toward the door, now that it seemed like the fight was over.

She stepped out just in time to hear; "Now, who's the best cousin in the world?"

The black haired boy grudgingly smiled and said "I suppose you would have to be, Dudley, considering I have no other relatives…"

The bigger boy smiled, patted his cousin on the head, released him, and said, "That's the spirit, Harry!"

"Yeah, but I'm still smarter!" The short boy, Harry, grinned and dodged away from the swat to his head.

"Why are you two fighting on my front sidewalk?" Genkai asked, watching in slight amusement as they whirled around and dropped into a defensive crouch. They stared at her, as she slowly tapped her foot, waiting for them to answer. "Well?"

The two boys glanced at each other quickly, before they slowly relaxed. "Er, We-well, umm…" Harry stuttered. Genkai raised her eyebrow in impatience.

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><p><strong><span>AN:**** Review Please!**


	4. Naked and Kinky

**MSLM: You should be thankful that I updated this. I have no Internet. I had to sneakily update this at church, while stealing their wifi, and on my phone. BE THANKFUL! (BTW I turned Kuwabara into a girl.)**

**Thank you Lives-in-Fantasy! (My awesome beta-person!)**

**_this means its in Japanese_ **

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><p>Dudley and Harry shuffled around trying to make the other talk first. Dudley won, but in Harrys defense, Dudley IS bigger.<p>

"W-we, um, are students here. We came by to see Sensei Mizou... Is he here?" Harry questioned.

"He sold the place to me." Genkai stated, as brisk as ever.

"Oh, um... do you know why he sold it?" Harry asked curiously, as Dudley rolled his eyes behind Harrys back, exasperated with his cousins curiosity.

"He decided to move to Japan to be closer to his family."

"Oh, well, we'll just be going then..." Harry said turning back to Dudley. He turned back when Genkai started to speak.

"I'm curious as to why you came to see him in the middle of the night."

"Well, we, uh, we were, um, we ju-"

"For God's sake, Harry you suck at lying!" Dudley interrupted. Harry blushed as Dudley continued. "We needed a place to stay. Our family locked the door, as a punishment for being out to late. We'll find a hotel."

"You can stay here, if you help me with chores and help me unpack tomorrow. It'll be a lot of hard work." Genkai offered, well, more like demanded. Harry and Dudley were shocked, they hadn't expected such kindness from a total stranger. Genkai raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer which Harry scrambled to find.

"Oh, thank you! You won't even know we're here. Thank you so much." Harry babbled at Genkai, beaming brightly, green eyes shining. Dudley nodded vigorously from behind Harry, a grin so big on his face, it looked as if it might crack. Genkai shooed them inside, uncomfortable with the gratefulness rolling off the two boys. As they shuffled inside, she noticed a couple bruises, but she wrote them off as consequences from their earlier wrestling match.

==D==l(iii/= (IT'S A ROSE! IN A HAND!)

Genkai wasn't joking when she said they were going to be working hard the next day. She had them running about doing chores and unpacking like her in-laws were about to visit any minute. While they worked, they didn't notice Genkai wondering about the bruises she saw last night, or how her eyes narrowed when Harry's shirt rode up, or when she noticed Harry gasp in pain when a box knocked into his leg.

When Dudley and Harry sat down for lunch that afternoon they were completely exhausted. Harry was used to it, but Dudley wasn't used to such manuel labour. He always tried to help Harry with his chores, but he couldn't do it often becouse his mum and dad would get angry if Dudley was caught helping and Harry would pay for it. Genkai handed each of the boys a microwaved TV dinner. Despite the dinners being only lukewarm and still partially frozen, the boys ate it with gusto. The table was silent, the only noises were forks scraping against plastic and chewing. When everyone was finished, Genkai started questioning the boys.

"Do you often fight like you did last night?" She said while analyzing their faces for when they might lie. Dudley glanced at Harry whose emerald eyes were wide.

"That wasn't a serious fight. That was just us playing around." Dudley moved to answer.

"Do you often get hurt when you play around like that?" Genki raised one of her eyebrows as she asked this.

"Oh, no! If one of us actually gets hurt we tell the other to stop the fight!" Dudley rushed to reassure her, occasionally glancing with concern at Harry, wondering why he was now holding his head in his hands and slowly shaking it back and forth.

"So how is it that you both have multiple bruises, his leg seems to be injured and his back is all cut up, and all day you've been favoring your right arm?" Genkai asked fiercely. It was quiet as Dudley tried to think of a lie that covered all of their injuries. He looked at Harry hoping for some help, but Harry wouldn't look up. He was staring at his hands as if they were the most interesting thing he had ever seen. Dudley opened his mouth to spew an undoubtedly unbelievable lie, but Genkai derailed him before he could even begin.

"Do not lie to me. I already can guess what happened. Someone, I do not know who, has been hurting you. And last night, either you ran away or were kicked out. You may stay here longer if you continue to work as you have... You will tell me after I have finished treating your injuries." Genkai said as she got up. The boys stood as well and Harry started rolling up his trouser leg.

Genkai interrupted their actions by saying "It will be a lot easier, if you take off all of your clothes." Genkai smirked at how quick their faces went from gratitude to horror. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come on, strip!" The smirk disappeared from her face as the extent of the injuries was unveiled. She sighed as she realized how long this patching job would take. She got to work.

(I LOVE YOU THIS \(••)/ MUCH! [If you review...])

Genkai was almost finished bandaging up the boys, except for Harrys back. Dudley and harry had relaxed completely at this point. Genkai was about to start on Harrys back, when the door slammed open and what looked like a pile of luggage with legs entered.

"_You old Hag! Why did we have to pick up the rest of your luggage?! Couldn't you have got it all the first time?_" The luggage said. It seemed to wobble for a second before it all came crashing down. The legs, apparently, belonged to a rather ruffled looking boy. He stood at about 5'11 with black slicked back hair and brown eyes which widened in shock as he took in the scene before him. He got over his shock, when someone or something slammed into his back.

A feminine voice grunted in annoyance and then started yelling. "_Damn it, Urameshi! Move out of the way! You're not the only one overburdened. MOVE!_"

There was a crash and then a red headed girls head popped out from behind Urameshi. Her hazel eyes widened and then they went crashing to the floor. Behind them stood a boy who, though shorter than average, he still managed to look imposing. Don't get it wrong though, he still was taller than Harry. His foot was raised in the air as he had just kicked over the imbeciles standing in his way. He had black hair that stood six inches high with a white tuft in the middle. His eyes looked like fire come to life.

He was also carrying luggage, but not as much as Urameshi. He came in and let his luggage tumble to the ground near the door. Urameshi spoke up from the floor. "_Damn, Kuwabara! What have you been eating?_"

There was the sound of flesh meeting flesh, the crack of a bone breaking, and a string of cursewords. The red head, Kuwabara, stood up with a huff. "_Wha' da 'uck wad dat fo'?_" Urameshi screamed as best as he could while trying to stem the flow of blood from his broken nose.

"_You don't call a lady fat!_" Kuwabara stated with a sniff. As they bickered another boy with red hair and green eyes picked his way through Kuwabaras dropped luggage. He stood at 6'2. His eyes roved around the room and stopped on the two naked boys standing frozen in the middle of the room. He cleared his throat and everyone turned to look at him.

They then followed his gaze and Urameshi opened his mouth. "_Damn, Genkai! I dew you 'ad to b' k'nky, bu really? Tads a bi' much!_" Harrys eyes widened in horror before he scooped up his clothes and fled the room.

As he was leaving he heard Genkai sigh and mutter "_You idiot..._"

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><p><strong>MSLM: The end of the chapter has come folks. Farewell and forget me not. For I shan't be away for as long as I used to be. My muse will not leave me well enough alone. She<strong> **basically duct taped my hands to my keyboard. **

**Screech: I like turtles. **

**MSLM: And that, my dears, is my muse. Invigorating ain't she? I shan't update unless I get 10 reviews. Evil, aren't I. **


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